Monthly Archives: May 2026

The forces of attraction

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On the surface it doesn’t sound like good news. Jesus says, “It’s better that I go away, that I leave you, so that the Spirit can come” (John 16:7). How’s that better?

We know how the story goes. Jesus does leave his grieving disciples – in his death, resurrection and ascension. Through all these great acts of God, things are no longer the same afterwards for the disciples. What changed for them? Well, the Spirit did come, as promised. Did it ever!

From last week’s account of Pentecost, tongues of fire settled on the heads of the disciples. This dramatic spectacle proved the disciples were filled with the Holy Spirit. And the first result of this spiritual outpouring?

It was their surprising ability to speak the languages of other people.

“All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability” (Acts 2:4).

And they do this because before Jesus left his disciples, he gave them these important parting words. He told them to go to “all nations” (Matthew 28:19) with God’s love. He encouraged the disciples to be Christ’s witnesses from Jerusalem “to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8).

We know the most effective way to learn another language is to be immersed in a culture and society whose dominant language is not your first language. You have to be immersed in the culture of the language you want to learn.

Language, regardless of which one we speak, is about making connection with others. Communication. The purpose of speaking other languages is to build relationships, to open the circle and expand it outwards. With the church, the missional arrow always points outward. Our mission is not ‘to bring people in’ but rather ‘to move out’. It feels like centrifugal force.

To be clear, the mission of the church is not worship on Sunday morning. That’s not what this is about. The purpose of coming to worship is to find the sustenance, strength and nourishment to do the mission of the church. Sunday morning in the church building is a deployment centre, where gifts are learned and resources are gathered to prepare for the mission.

In the end, Pentecost isn’t about the church getting a power upgrade, for its own sake. It’s about God’s Holy Spirit sending us toward people who don’t speak our language. It’s about God’s Holy Spirit breaking open the comfortable circles we build around ourselves. Because, in the Spirit, we are drawn in love toward people unlike us.

When we think of this centrifugal, outward spinning movement, we might first imagine the push factor – the energy of motion at the centre forcing the particles outward. This image is perhaps more in line with how we think about, or fear, doing church mission.

Because learning a new language is not easy. We’ll inevitably make mistakes along the way. Sometimes we won’t even know what we are doing. It’s scary to go outside our comfort zones. We’d rather stay in the confines and security of what we know. Moving out often means curbing our impulse. We may even believe we need to be forced to move out, and perhaps even literally pushed out the door. At least that’s what we tell ourselves.

Science, however, tells us that this notion that we are being pushed or forced out is false. Based on the physics of circular motion, centrifugal force is really a phantom force. Scientists call it “fictitious” (Lucas & Ghose, 2024) because it’s more of a sensation based on our frame of reference, which can change. What we experience in the apparent centrifugal force is, actually, inertia wanting to continue moving in a straight line.

If centrifugal force is not real, what then is the force? What energy do we participate in when going to the ends of the earth in Christ’s name?

Let’s stay with the science.

Besides gravitational force, both electrostatic and magnetic forces attract opposites – either polar, or positive and negative charges (Platt, 2025). Using models based on the opposite forces of attraction as a metaphor for mission, you could say the attraction to what is different, or opposite, is the basis of the agape love demonstrated and taught by Jesus.

We love others not because they are the same as us. We move, in love, towards others who are different. That’s the basis of Jesus’ command “to love your enemy” (Matthew 5:43-48), or loving others as you love yourself (Matthew 22:37-39).

How do we practice this natural, yet opposite, force of attraction? Attraction can be nurtured by the spiritual practice of “beholding” (Frykholm, 2025, pp. 28-30). The command to behold occurs frequently in the bible. Depending on the translation you use, “Behold” or some variation of it appears approximately 1,500 times (Llewellyn, 2022). A lot.

When we practice beholding what is before us – the person we meet, the situation we encounter, the world around us, any circumstance of our lives – our attention is on the experience, without judgement. Like the example from last week when we want to see a wild animal in the bush, beholding involves slowing things down and just noticing who is there and what is happening. Without judgement.

And over time, whatever we behold, we eventually become beholden to. We enter a loving relationship with what we accept without judging the person, the event, the experience. We learn to love it, not resist it. And in doing so, we notice that we are connected. Just like the invisible string of gravity holding the tension between the earth and the moon, the sun and the earth, we are interconnected with the whole creation.

We can behold and hold others, the world and what is. When we practice simply paying attention to what is happening around us without impulsive distractions leading us and dividing us, we experience something incredible.

Contrary to centrifugal force, centripetal force is the real force. Centripetal is the centre-seeking force, a force that keeps acting towards a fixed centre – such as the rotation of the moon around the earth because of the earth’s gravitational force, or the earth rotating around the sun because of the sun’s gravitational force.

Photo by Martin Malina, July 2022, Tofino BC

Christ is at the centre. Christ is the Son at the centre of the universe we inhabit. We move outward from our frame of reference – different it might be from one to another – not because we are unhinged, untethered, unrooted.

We move outward because of the universal attraction to God’s love. The world welcomes us because Jesus waits for us out there. Love is the pull, both to the centre of our lives and outward to where love waits. There is a tension here. We are drawn inward and outward by love. We see Christ in the world, and we follow in faith where the Spirit leads.

You may feel unable to do this. And you wouldn’t be alone. Sometimes we feel we lack the courage and the faith and the belief to love like this.

“It’s better that I go away, that I leave you, so that the Spirit can come,” Jesus said. How is this better?

If Jesus continued to be present and visible on earth – in other words, if he didn’t leave them – the focus of his disciples to this day would be on Christ in one location and at one time. Not a bad thing, actually. But there is better.

Because Jesus left, we discover the Spirit of God no longer bound in space and time but wherever we are, right here, right now, even within, in all and for all.

Like Jesus, the Spirit is another comforter, teacher and guide just like him. But now, the divine presence is available to everyone, everywhere, always. The same Spirit who descended like a dove on Jesus will descend upon us. The same Spirit who filled Jesus will fill all who open their hearts, in love (McLaren, 2014).

I say, that’s better! Thanks be to God.

References:

Llewellyn, C. (2022, February 23). God says ‘Behold’ 1,500 times in the bible. Here’s what it means. Premier Christianity [Website]. https://www.premierchristianity.com/columnists/god-says-behold-1500-times-in-the-bible-heres-what-it-means/6136.article

Frykholm, A. (2025). Journey to the wild heart. Orbis Books.

Lucas, J., & Ghose, T. (2024, September 4). What are centrifugal and centripetal forces? Live Science [Website]. Future US Inc. https://www.livescience.com/52488-centrifugal-centripetal-forces.html

McLaren, B. D. (2014). We make the road by walking: A year-long quest for spiritual formation, reorientation and activation. Jericho Books.

Platt, P. (2025, June 9). Attraction – GCSE physics definition. SaveMyExams [Website]. https://www.savemyexams.com/glossary/gcse/physics/attraction/

15 seconds – that’s all you need

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Many were “amazed” at what they witnessed in the disciples’ words and behaviour in the biblical account of Pentecost (Acts 2). These followers of Jesus were speaking in different languages and displaying supernatural signs involving wind and flame as gifts of the Spirit.

“But others sneered and said, ‘They are filled with new wine’” (Acts 2:13).

Our response to others is often negative, if we are honest. We see something we don’t understand. (There is something wrong). We witness behavior that doesn’t fit with our ideas. (It’s not right). Someone says something we don’t agree with. (What is the world coming to?). No wonder judgement and negativity flourish in human community.

And we, individually, are affected by it. It takes a millisecond for someone’s negative statement, blaming, judgement, or criticism to make us tense up. We feel sick to our stomachs. We retreat into our minds and clamp down. We can’t sleep. Negative energy.

Yet, this is humanity’s default drive, based on a survival instinct wired into the oldest part of our brain. Self-preservation instinct often translates into defensive and protective behaviour that makes us suspicious and untrusting of others.

Do you first give others the benefit of the doubt? I’m not sure I do.

A best-case scenario study reveals that only about 50% of the population believe people are doing the best they can (Brown, 2018, p. 263). That means, including in the church, about half of us have a real hard time believing that generally people are doing the very best they can with what they have. Because we tend to focus on the problem, the deficiency, what is wrong. The sin.

Relying only on the animal parts of our brains, we remain to this day stuck in the dominant narrative of negativity and mistrust. Even if we wanted to assume positive intent and see the best in others, this is a skill-set not easy to learn and practice. Because it is based on our ability to trust others.

There are, nevertheless, encouraging signs. Another study about trust showed that, in the business world, companies with high levels of trust between managers and workers “beat the average annualized returns [on the stock market] … by a factor of three” (Brown, 2018, p. 273). There is a positive correlation between high levels of trust in an organization and positive financial outcomes.

Even though far too many disregard trust-building as a “soft” or “secondary” skill, trust is not a “nice-to-have”, it is a “must-have” (Covey & Conant, 2016). It literally pays off to invest in those “soft” skills. Trust is an essential quality of healthy and loving human relationships.

Pentecost Sunday is known as the birthday of the church, when the church was born. When the Holy Spirit descended on the disciples in Jerusalem, they were given the mission and swept into the world to share the presence and message of God’s love in Christ Jesus.

Each of us is a member of the body of Christ, the church. We are given gifts, energies and talents. We must believe in the gifts we have been given. We need to trust ourselves as much as we may trust in others, in God.

Martin Luther emphasized that the essential meaning of faith is not so much belief, as it is trust.

In his 1520 treatise entitled “The Freedom of a Christian”, and in his 1522 commentary on St Paul’s letter to the Romans, Luther argued that simply knowing or acknowledging facts about God is an empty human construct. True, saving faith requires fiducia—a bold, vital, and active trust in God’s promises and grace. The quality of trust in relationship is fundamental to the life of a Christian.

Peter comes to the rescue of the disciples who are judged for being drunk on the Day of Pentecost. He validates and affirms that what is happening in those disciples’ lives is not a hangover but a presentation of the Spirit of God. He reminds them of what the prophet Joel proclaimed, that:
17‘In the last days … God declares,
that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh,
and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
and your young men shall see visions,
and your old men shall dream dreams.
18Even upon my slaves, both men and women,
in those days I will pour out my Spirit,
and they shall prophesy …
21Then everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.’ ”

A later text attributed to Peter reflects a similar sentiment, a text we heard earlier during the Easter season:

“9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people, in order that you may proclaim the excellence of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
 10 Once you were not a people,
  but now you are God’s people;
 once you had not received mercy,
  but now you have received mercy” (1 Peter 2:9-10).

I hope you hear the positivity, the unconditional positive regard, and the “yes” energy in those affirming words of scripture. And Peter is not talking to an individual. He is talking to a human collective, a community. He is talking about relationships energized by mercy, characterized by trusting one another and assuming positive intent.

Birthdays are days we celebrate the life of the person reaching yet another milestone. That’s a good place to start. Birthday energy. Positive. Acceptance. We don’t always have to knee-jerk into negativity, suspicion and blame. That’s the easy way. But not always the right way. We can choose to think graciously, and with wonder and praise for the other.

Just as our bodies register the effects of a negative statement, our bodies are also affected by a positive input from someone. But it takes a lot longer for the benefit of that positivity to take a healing effect on us. Unlike our millisecond response to a negative comment, it takes 15 seconds for an affirmation and validation to signal health from our brain to our bodies, our emotions and our spirits (Rohr, 2017).

When the grace settles into us, we participate in the sharing of our God-given gift (Kimmerer, 2024). Whether on the receiving end or the giving end, our soul is then revealed in the encounter.

How do we make time and space for the grace to settle in? How do we retrain our brain to notice first the good, to trust the other is doing the best they can? How do we practice seeing the face of God in the other?

Last week, early in the morning, from our back deck Jessica and I were paid a short visit by a deer walking along the fence line in our back yard. It was a large doe. I invite you to reflect on a time when you saw a wild animal in its natural habitat. Author Parker Palmer wrote about how we come to witness the good and see the soul in the other:

“The soul is like a wild animal … tough, resilient, resourceful, savvy, and self-sufficient: it knows how to survive in hard places … Yet, despite its toughness, the soul is also shy …

“If we want to see a wild animal, we know that the last thing we should do is go crashing through the woods yelling for it to come out. But if we will walk quietly into the woods, sit patiently at the base of a tree, breathe with the earth, and fade into our surroundings, the wild creature we seek might put in an appearance. We may see it only briefly and only out of the corner of an eye – but the sight is a gift we will always treasure as an end in itself” (Palmer, 2004, pp. 58-59).

15 seconds. That’s all you need. Stay with the positive word, the compliment, the grace, the mercy, the joy, the appreciation, for 15 seconds. Don’t reject it out of hand. Hold that positive energy in your heart and your body and your mind for 15 seconds. Feel it. Let it curate there, simmer.

Jesus tells his disciples, “Receive the Holy Spirit” (John 20:22).

Saint Paul describes this energy from the Spirit like it is water. He writes in Romans 5:5 — “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.”

We are like a sponge that gathers up the water. But a sponge does not hold onto it forever. Nor does it create the water. We are filled with the grace of God — the flowing water of life — so that, saturated, we leak that love into a dry and dusty world (DesCamp, 2025).

Hold it for 15 seconds, at least. And then, turn around, and give it from your own soul.

References:

Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work, tough conversations, whole hearts. Random House Large Print.

Covey, S. M. R., & Conant, D. R. (2016). That connection between employee trust and financial performance. Harvard Business Review [Website]. https://hbr.org/2016/07/the-connection-between-employee-trust-and-financial-performance

DesCamp, T. (2025). Hands like roots: Notes on an entangled contemplative life. Santos Books.

Kimmerer, R. W. (2024). The serviceberry: Abundance and reciprocity in the natural world. Scribner.

Palmer, P. (2004). A hidden wholeness. Jossey-Bass—A Wiley Imprint.

Rohr, R. (2017). Just this: Prompts and practices for contemplation. CAC Publishing.

Photo by Jessica Hawley Malina, May 2, 2026, Arnprior

The link of love is never broken

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Two-time Stanley Cup champion and Canadian, Adam Graves, spoke about the importance of team unity during his Cup-winning days in the 1990s. Playing a key role winning the Cup with the New York Rangers and Edmonton Oilers NHL hockey teams, Graves applied the valuable lessons he learned to his post-career community work.

Numerous Stanley Cup-winning players and coaches frequently speak about the deep, collective belief in the bond of team unity required to win the Stanley Cup. They often emphasize that the victory was won by the entire roster of players rather than just a few super stars.

It takes every team member to make the team succeed.

In professional sports competition is the fundamental belief and motivation. And yet, you could say the x-factor for ultimate success is the way team players find their chemistry in playing for one another and for the better of the group. Rather than the selfish individualism, a large measure of which got each of them, admittedly, into the NHL in the first place, what makes them champions in the end is believing in each other, putting the team ahead of their own interests on the ice (Farris, 2019).

The tale of Four Friends is a story from India, from an ancient collection of tales about unity (World Stories Bank, 2026). The story reinforces the value of building unity on the strengths of diversity. Each friend in the group is valued for their unique contribution that benefits the whole group.

(Photo by Jessica Hawley Malina, 14 May 2026 in Arnprior)

Four friends – a deer, a crow, a mouse, and a turtle – were very different from one another. One was swift, one was aerial, one was small and quick, and one was slow and armored. Yet, they complemented each other perfectly.

Each day, living in a forest, they ventured in different directions, hunting for sustenance. Dusk saw them reuniting, sharing tales of their day’s adventures.

However, fate took an unexpected turn. One evening, the deer failed to return. The trio exchanged worried glances. “Why hasn’t the deer returned?” they pondered. Urgency gripped them as they resolved to search for their missing friend. The crow flew high and with the crow’s keen eyes spotted the deer trapped in a hunter’s net. The crow immediately flew back and told the others.

The friends did not panic. Nor did they blame the deer for being careless. Instead, they hatched a daring plan and acted as one unit:

The crow carried the mouse on his back to the trap. Then the mouse swiftly began gnawing the net, while the turtle slowly made his way towards them to help.

Just as the hunter appeared, the mouse finished cutting the net, and the deer escaped into the bushes. The crow flew away. But, the slow turtle could not hide in time.

The angry hunter, seeing the net empty, found the turtle and put him in a bag.

The friends were devastated but refused to leave the turtle behind. They devised a new plan to save their friend using their diverse skills:

The deer ran ahead and pretended to be dead on the path near the hunter, with the crow sitting on his head pretending to peck his eyes.

The hunter, greedy for an easy catch, dropped the bag with the turtle and ran toward the deer.

While the hunter was preoccupied with getting to the deer, the mouse quickly cut open the bag, freeing the turtle.

Just as the hunter reached the deer, the deer jumped up and sped away, the crow flew off, and the mouse hid in the tall grass with the turtle. The hunter returned to his bag only to find it empty. The four friends were reunited in the safety of their home.

In a choreographed dance of bravery and cunning, the friends executed their plan flawlessly. In the end, their unity outsmarted the hunter’s greed.

Each used their gifts: The crow acted as the lookout, spotting danger from the sky. The mouse used his sharp teeth to cut through obstacles. The deer used his speed to scout areas or escape quickly. The turtle brought stability and patience.

Their differences were their strength. Alone, the crow couldn’t cut the net, and the deer couldn’t see the hunter coming. The mouse, though quick, could not cover the same distance as the deer. By bringing their unique abilities together, they achieved what one of them could never do by themselves.

And, if they were all the same – being strong in the same way and having the same gifts – they would not have been successful in achieving their goals.

Unity in diversity is the bedrock of strength.

In a world fraught with uncertainties, the message of unity serves as a beacon of hope. By standing together, embracing diversity, and leveraging individual strengths, any team can succeed.

Can it be so with the church? Of course, the church is not a hockey team and neither is it merely a group of friends. The church finds its unity in the love of God, in Christ Jesus.

The church, and members of it, are in a loving relationship with God and therefore with each other. The book in the bible entitled “The Song of Songs” is a testament to a relationship between two lovers. The analogy, so passionately depicted in “The Song of Songs”, describes an intimate union, a bond of love.

But the message of the Gospel goes deeper.

While a loving relationship is always two-way, in our relationship with God especially we are not always faithful in our end of the deal. Our ability to be constantly aware of our oneness with God and our response in faithful living, often breaks. In other words, we mess up. We fall short.

But God says to us, “No matter how often the bond breaks from your end, it never breaks from my end” (Finley, 2026, May 9).

Even when we are honest with ourselves about our misdeeds, our lack of effort, lack of ability, the link is still not broken from God’s end. And when we continue to wonder, to search, to long for a union that is lovingly complete with God even though we fail to do our part, the link is still not broken. It remains secure from God’s end. And that’s what counts.

Every time the link breaks from our end, know that whatever the break is – a questioning faith, a disappointment with God, the church, a mistake, a guilt – it’s never strong enough to break at God’s end (Finley, 2026, May 9).

In addition to the many blessings of the church, Team Church may feel weak, at times. Throughout history the church has failed, and there are signs in the church around the world of rupture and harm. The church has broken the link of love uniting us with one another and with God.

But when we practice trusting one another in the different roles and gifts we have – the possibility for renewal and health remains. When faced with dilemmas, ethical and personal challenges, we can lean on others who have different skills, strengths and gifts. They can show us a way forward in the grace of God, whose faithfulness to us is never shaken.

Gracious God, you gather your people from all corners of the earth. Heal and renew your Church, and overcome all that divides it. Pour out your Holy Spirit upon us, so that we may live as one body, united in faith, and proclaim your saving love to the ends of the earth. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

References:

Farris, J. (2019). It takes 23 to win: Building and being part of great hockey teams. circaNow Media. https://circanow.com/products

Finley, J. (2026, May 9). The thread that never breaks. Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations. CAC Publishing. https://cac.org/daily-meditations/lover-and-beloved-in-the-song-of-songs-weekly-summary/

World Stories Bank. (2026). Four friends [Website]. https://www.worldstoriesbank.org/story/four-friends-2/

Staying in the void

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Cabo da Roca, Portugal — the westernmost point of continental Europe (photo by Martin Malina, July 2017)

1 Peter 3:14a: 14 But even if you do suffer for doing what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear, and do not be intimidated, 15 but in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. 

John 14:19-20: “You will see me … I am in my father, and you in me, and I in you.”

Isn’t it odd that fear and doubt creep into the Easter stories from the bible? Matthew reports that the disciples were still afraid, even after seeing the risen Lord (Matthew 28:17). You’d think fear and doubt belong more to the season of Lent that precedes Easter.

Today is the 6th Sunday of Easter. We thus end the first half of the Christian year. In the Lutheran church, the reason we follow the liturgical calendar is to ground our worship in the story of Jesus. The focus in worship is Jesus Christ.

Theologian Diana Butler Bass writes, “The cycle of Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, and Easter focus on the story of Jesus – the promise of his coming, his birth, the light he brings to the world, the seriousness of his mission, his execution, and the mystery of his resurrection …

Yet, “Fear is foundational to this first half of the year. And it isn’t just that the disciples were afraid after Jesus died. The story [of fearful disciples and followers of Jesus] began way back in Advent with the angel telling Mary, ‘Fear not!’” (Bass, 2026). Being with Jesus and following his life is to confront and deal with our fear. Following Jesus is scary business, from beginning to end!

Jesus does not introduce something new, with his life, when it comes to fear and following God. Jesus is not alone. When Jesus preached, he told others what he first heard from his own Hebrew tradition: “Do not be afraid.” Those words were communicated again and again, through God, other people, and in prayer: To Abraham and Sarah, God said, “Do not be afraid.” To Moses, “Do not be afraid.” To Joshua and Gideon, “Do not be afraid.” To Samuel and Hannah, “Do not be afraid.” To Judith, “Do not be afraid.” To David, in the prayers of his heart, “Do not be afraid.”

To the people of Israel, throughout the prophets again and again, and in every type of cataclysmic situation: “Do not be afraid.” Through Isaiah, “Do not be afraid.” To Joseph, the father of Jesus and husband of Mary, “Do not be afraid.” And, of course, to Mary who said yes, the angel said, “Do not be afraid, Mary.” (Rohr, 2026).

Why this word over and over again? Because we’re afraid! Especially when faced with change, bidden or unbidden. We’re wrapped up and sometimes even trapped in our fear. We want to go beyond it and yet somehow it more often than not gets the better of us. We fear what we do not know and do not understand.

Jesus seemed to know from an early age that we cannot build on fear. We can build only on life and love. So Jesus went to the deepest source of life and love. He gazed long and hard into God’s eyes; there, somehow, but most assuredly, he overcame fear.

And what Jesus knew by gazing into the eyes of God he handed over the vision to us: What he saw was a love that overcomes fear, a love that offers courage, allowing us to release our life, to let it fall and go where it might. Jesus’s trust was not in himself but in who he knew he was before God (Rohr, 2026): Beloved.

Why should we not fear? Because, as Jesus promised his disciples, he promises us: “You will see me” (John 14:19). We will see Jesus. Not just a physical seeing. It’s a seeing with the eyes of the heart as much as it is via the optic nerve.

We will see Jesus, in the ordinary situations and faces we meet every day. But not just when things go well in our lives. The wonder and uniqueness of the Christian Gospel is that we will see God most clearly when things don’t go well or as planned or desired. We will see God most clearly when we don’t have control, when in times of transition, change, loss, struggle and suffering.

All those characters from the bible I rhymed off, from the Old and New Testaments, they experienced God at precisely those difficult, pivotal moments of their lives. To embrace those moments when we face problems and challenges – these are the moments where and when we will see Jesus.

We need to make room for God in times of struggle, and with people who are different from us — in the face of a stranger, someone we don’t yet know very well.

Einstein reportedly said, “If I had an hour to solve a problem, I’d spend fifty-five minutes thinking about the problem and five minutes thinking about solutions.” This great 20th century scientist also apparently said, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with the problem longer” (Brown, 2018, p. 211).

The mind is quick to escape discomfort. It reaches for distraction, solutions, and anything that reduces the feeling fast. We all want to manufacture an answer to take away our anxiety and settle the dust.

Dealing with our fear means exploring what it means, why it’s there, what issues our fear reveals and exposes, issues that need loving, compassionate and direct attention. When we rush to solution-finding without first spending time with all our feelings, especially fear, we only postpone the inevitable. What isn’t accepted tends to return. And it’s much worse when we repress and avoid it.

As Richard Rohr writes, we must be “willing to stay in the void. We mustn’t engineer an answer too quickly. We mustn’t get settled too fast.” (Rohr, 2003, pp. 142-144). “Not every discomfort needs immediate action. Not every emotion needs to be fixed. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stay, just long enough to understand what’s actually there” (The Clarity Corner, 2026, April 30).

Because when you stay with your fear, it often shifts on its own. Because being felt is what allows it to move.

We can’t attack fear head on. We can’t simply say to ourselves, “Don’t be afraid” because it doesn’t work. It isn’t that simple. We have to go deeper, be curious about where the fear is coming from, and trust God with it. (Rohr, 2026).

Fear will soften once it is no longer being resisted. Staying in the void gives you space and time to gaze into the eyes of Jesus and receive grace in the moment you most need it. We don’t need fear to rule, because we will see Jesus, no matter what.

“Alleluia, Sing to Jesus” is our hymn of the day (ELW, 2006). Leonard Cohen wrote, “Love is not a victory march. It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah” (cited in Brown, 2018, p. 243). That’s ok. In this Easter season, though beset by fear we can still sing, “Alleluia!”.

References:

Butler Bass, D. (2025, May 24). Sunday musings: On fear and love. The Cottage. https://dianabutlerbass.substack.com/p/sunday-musings-2e5

Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work, tough conversations, whole hearts. Random House.

Evangelical Lutheran Worship. (2006). Alleluia! Sing to Jesus! (#392). Augsburg Fortress.

Rohr, R. (2003). Everything belongs: The gift of contemplative prayer. Crossroad Publishing.

Rohr, R. (2026, April 27).Calming our fears: Do not be afraid. Daily Meditations. https://cac.org/daily-meditations/calming-our-fears/

The Clarity Corner. (2026, April 30). A simple ‘sit with it’ prompt: How staying present for a moment can change what you feel. The Clarity Corner. https://theclaritycorner.substack.com/p/a-simple-sit-with-it-prompt

Funeral sermon for someone born on St Patrick’s Day

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Every year around her birthday on St Patrick’s Day (March 17) Brenda joked with me that she is the leprechaun, which is probably height related. But she was also someone who had that mischievous and playful character. Looking at her picture posted here, you can see that playfulness if not a bit of mischief lurking behind her infectious smile.

When you joke about leprechauns, you not only smile but with that pot of gold waiting at the end of the rainbow you look heavenward towards a possibility, a hope, and a dream.

The scriptures in this funeral service for Brenda are about vision. They describe a vision for how things should be, and how they will be, one day. They speak of reality we cannot yet fully grasp in the present but for which we pray and dream. Where the weak find strength (Isaiah 40:28-31), where a banquet feast of rich foods is provided for everyone (Isaiah 25:6-10a), and the presence of God resides in each one of us (John 14:20-23).

Truly, a visionary palette.

Brenda had vision. A tiny person, she nevertheless proposed big ideas. She was a force here at Faith for re-starting fellowship time after COVID. Amid the fear and uncertainty of that time, she envisioned people of faith gathering around food and drink. And with the help of others, she brought that vision to light.

Speaking of food, her Facebook page was often filled with recipes that she ‘liked’ – and these were hearty fares! Of course, underlying her love for food was motivating people to come together. There is little else that does it better to bring people together than food and drink.

She worked at Bentleys for a time, the store in the Merivale Mall and then at Carlingwood. But what motivated her in this retail job, she told me, was connecting with people and serving them. Caring for them.

Her love for the elderly and sick led her to volunteering at the Queensway Carleton Hospital. First, she took the pastoral care course for lay people, and then in the last few years volunteered in the gift shop there. She was happiest when around people, to care for them.

Brené Brown wrote that, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” (Brown, 2018). For Brenda, what was most important was making sure you knew in any encounter that you were cared for.

I think it was in the hospital setting where she connected deeply with a vision for God’s people. Struggling with health issues her whole life, Brenda envisioned a place where the best in people could be brought out – in their loving care and healing acts for others. Saint Augustine said, “the church is a hospital for sinners not a museum for saints”.

It was serving in the hospital where I think Brenda felt safe to be her vulnerable self. It wasn’t just a social place. It was a place of affirmation. I like to think, too, that Brenda felt safe in the church to be herself, to be accepted, and loved. What a vision for all God’s people!

You’ve described Brenda as a social butterfly. The butterfly is a beautiful image for Easter. The birds will often remind us of the hope of Christ’s resurrection. When I visited Brenda in her apartment, she would inevitably point out her window to the tree just there where a cardinal made frequent and regular visits.

The birds indeed lift our sights outward and upward towards the heavens. Mounting up on wings like eagles, our souls look even beyond the end of the leprechaun’s rainbow and pot of gold. Looking upwards to the vastness of the skies above, beyond the boundaries of our limitations and self-imposed dramas. This is having vision. I believe Brenda got that.

Heavenward is the biblical concept of everywhere. Heaven is not a specific, geographical place up in the sky. When Jesus rose heavenward, it means Jesus was no longer bound by any specific time and place on earth. Jesus is alive! means: Jesus is everywhere.

To each of us the baptismal promise is given. With Jesus, we rise to eternal, unrestricted life. Resurrection means the life of one is in all. Jesus says to his disciples, “On that day you will know that I am in my Father and you in me and I in you” (John 14:20). In the Gospel, Jesus promises that those who love and care for one another show their love for God – and to those Jesus will come and make “home with them” (John 14:23).

Our relationship with Brenda is not over. The relationship has just changed now. She makes a home in our hearts, in our memories. Whenever we encounter a vision of God through a bird sighting, a fabulous meal, or experience anything that moves us, we are reminded of where we all are headed. And we can be assured that the presence of Jesus lives in us through it all. It’s not over for Brenda. And it’s not over for us. It never is.

Born on St, Patrick’s Day, Brenda conveys another image associated with who she is. Brenda said her parents always called her their “wild Irish rose”, emphasis on “wild” perhaps? 🙂 On her gravestone I am told this epitaph will be inscribed: Brenda … – Wild Irish Rose.

Thanks be to God, for wildly loving Brenda, and for the wild grace of God which knows no bounds.

Amen.

Reference:

Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work, tough conversations, whole hearts. Random House.

The ‘F’-word

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Stephen forgives his enemies just before he dies (Acts 7:55-60). His last words may sound familiar, because they echo the words Jesus spoke from the cross when he prayed to God “to forgive” those who crucified him (Luke 23:34).  

Forgiveness is a theme that runs at the heart of the New Testament text from Acts for this 5th Sunday of Easter, indeed throughout the Gospels. Two-thirds of the teaching of Jesus in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, is directly or indirectly about this “mystery” of forgiveness (Rohr, 2022).

These days forgiveness is a bad word, mysterious at best. Are we surprised?

Our world more often operates on principles opposed to forgiveness. Vengeance, revenge, eye-for-an-eye, quid-pro-quo beliefs all fuel the economic and war machines of our culture. Our economy is governed by meritocracy – earning and deserving. Forgiveness rubs up against a culture that demands retribution, fuels competition and comparison and rewards only those who have achieved some measure of success.

Forgiveness just doesn’t fit.

And so, we have developed such a massive resistance to the word forgive that we cannot even use it (James & Friedman, 2009). It is now the prominent ‘F’-word because we no longer associate forgiveness with the qualities of strength, integrity, maturity, faithfulness and health.

If we will dare to go there, however, it is important to clarify what forgiveness is NOT.

First, forgiveness is not forgetting nor condoning actions by others, actions that have hurt people. We cannot forget abusive and offensive behaviour from anyone. When we forgive, we are not pretending that the bad behaviour never happened. We are not being silent in the face of injustice. We are not saying it’s ok that someone’s actions hurt others. Forgiveness is not forgetting nor condoning.

Second, forgiveness is not a one-time thing you do. Like setting and maintaining healthy boundaries with people, you cannot just say or do it once and expect things to change immediately. It’s not a one-off-and-done. I’ll say more about this later.

Finally – and this is the toughest one for those of you like me who are prone to manage and control – forgiving someone else has nothing to do with changing the offending person. Some psychologists who promote forgiveness argue that you should never say, “I forgive you …” directly to or in the presence of the person who hurt you. Because doing so is almost always perceived as an attack (James & Friedman, 2009, p. 140). It’s not helpful. And it’s not about them, anyway.

The act of forgiveness has everything to do with changing yourself. We do it to help ourselves.

You notice, Stephen in his final moments does not speak to his persecutors. He is praying to God. And even Saul – later, Saint Paul – who witnesses the stoning of Stephen and presumably hears Stephen’s prayer about forgiveness, is not converted at that moment by Stephen’s forgiving act. In fact, he approves of Stephen’s murder right after it happened (Acts 8:1). Saul’s conversion happens later, on the road to Damascus (Acts 9).

Again, Stephen’s word of forgiveness has nothing to do with changing Saul, and everything to do with Stephen’s soul, finding his own inner peace, before he dies. He wasn’t doing his persecutors a favour by forgiving them. He was freeing himself.

Forgiveness is letting go of resentment. It is a choice to free oneself from resentment over what could have, should have, been. Forgiveness is to let go of our hope that things could have been different. When we forgive, we hand it over to history (Rohr, 2022). We see the hurt and the woundedness in us, and we hand it over – we let it go – to God. We are freed.

There is one exception – a biblical one – to saying the words “I forgive you” directly to the other person. Because forgiveness is still a decision to do something concrete. For Stephen and Jesus, it was a voiced prayer to God. But the two-thirds of Jesus’ teaching about forgiveness is mostly about economics, about the nature of monetary transactions between people.

Originally, the word for ‘sins’ in the Lord’s Prayer was translated ‘debts’: “Forgive us our debts as we forgive those indebted to us.” The word ‘debts’ is closer to the original Semitic language meaning (Woodley, 2026). The word in the original text is clearly an economic word.

The Sabbath day, the day of rest, as well as the biblical concept of Jubilee was the awaited day of the week or every seventh year, for marginalized and disadvantaged people to be offered a new beginning. It was the time of forgiveness of debt so that disadvantaged people had an opportunity to reset and start over.

Forgiveness is thus a repeated and concrete gift of grace.

That is why forgiveness is not about a singular, one-time event to make everything right. It takes time and practice. It’s a lifestyle, an attitude by which to live. It is an attitude reinforced by ongoing work, because it is not easy. We often don’t get it right.

When Jesus says, as he does in our Gospel reading today, that he “is the way, truth and the life” (John 14:6) the gist of it is not some program of exclusion that we normally interpret from it – us versus them. It is rather an affirmation of the way of Jesus, a way characterized by inclusion, grace, by empathy, by forgiveness and compassion for all people. We affirm in this passage a way of forgiveness, where folks are regularly granted days of rest, a year of Jubilee — freedom, restitution, second chances and new beginnings.

No wonder these texts are chosen for the season of Easter. Because Easter is about rising again, being given a second chance, a new beginning, time and time again. Because life in Christ is renewed, life is given, to those who practice repeatedly in the way of Christ, the way of forgiveness.

Infant baptism is the liturgical expression of this way of grace. An infant cannot prove that they are worthy. They cannot merit their way to deserving God’s grace. Infants cannot provide a resumé of good deeds to justify their righteousness before the Lord.

They are helpless, totally dependent, completely vulnerable. They are in dire need for constant protection and care. And that vulnerability is the place and inner state for receiving God’s love and forgiveness. Today, little [….] receives the fullness of a lifelong grace in the way of forgiveness.

Today she is marked with the cross of Christ which in God’s own suffering and human weakness validates her own being human in all its fullness and folly. God doesn’t demand perfection from us. God doesn’t expect us to make everything right by our own power and on our own strength. But rather by trusting in and practising God’s forgiveness, grace and mercy within us and with others.

Forgiveness is not the ‘F’-word. It is THE Word.

(photo by Martin Malina, 20 April 2026, Ottawa River at Arnprior)

References

James, J. W., & Friedman, R. (2009). The grief recovery handbook: The action program for moving beyond death, divorce, and other losses, including health, career, and faith. HarperCollins.

Rohr, R. (2022, August 5). Letting go of our innocence. Daily Meditations. https://cac.org/daily-meditations/letting-go-of-our-innocence-2022-08-05/

Rohr, R. (2022, September 16). The power of forgiveness. Daily Meditations. https://cac.org/daily-meditations/the-power-of-forgiveness-2022-09-16/

Rohr, R. (2023, August 22). Truth and reconciliation: God’s restoring justice. Daily Meditations. https://cac.org/daily-meditations/truth-and-reconciliation-2023-08-22/

Woodley, R. (2026, February 3). Communal shalom: Sabbath and jubilee economics. Daily Meditations. https://cac.org/daily-meditations/communal-shalom/