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Life under re-construction

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The re-construction of Victoria Street began in late June. This average-looking, common-place road in the heart of a small town in Ontario was undergoing a radical change for the better.

Something new was going to be constructed that would mean a better, safer and more reliable roadway, both for what is above and below the surface of the asphalt. In short, something good was going to come out of all the disruption, detours, noise and dirt in my neighborhood.

Perhaps your life reflects times of re-construction. These often disruptive experiences can shake us to the core and may initially feel unwanted, uncomfortable. They can also offer opportunities for growth, maturity and — at the end of it all — realizing a better place in your life.

But how do we get from the rough place to a better one? How can we see the work of re-construction not as a negative but as a positive?

Well, the first thing I observe about what’s happening on Victoria Street is that all the planning and organizing is done with the long view in mind. In other words, re-construction takes time. Though the shovel broke the earth in mid-June, it will likely be late Fall by the time the work of re-construction is completed.

To realize this vision of completion (the biblical definition of “perfection”), the workers need to implement intermediary measures. For example, for several weeks they need to ensure portable generators are in place to pump drainage water through long, large rubber hoses laid along the length of the street. Before any new permanent structures can be installed, time is needed to remove the old and ship in the new.

Life re-construction, if it is to be effective and enduring, requires the long view. It is seasonal, and experiences ups and downs, occasional setbacks, like taking two steps forward and one step backward. It may take some interesting twists and turns before you are done.

In Paul’s letter to the church in Ephesus, he exhorts the people that in order to “speak the truth in love” they must “grow up” (Ephesians 4:15). The phrase “grow up” is often directed at misbehaving children. But this is an directive to adults as well. Growing up in Christ is a lifelong process.

When the prophet Nathan called King David out to confess his sins of adultery and murder, King David found himself at a milestone on his life’s journey (2 Samuel 11:26–12:13a). A significant indication of David’s desire to grow in faith and maturity in his relationship with God and others around him was his honesty; he did not deny his sin but confessed it immediately to Nathan. And it would take a lifetime for David to live out the consequences of his sin. His confession was but a step on this journey of healing and growth.

It is natural to be discouraged by setbacks on life’s journey. But stay on the path. Pray for the gifts of persistence, endurance and patience. Take the long view; transformation is a process not a one-time event.

Another aspect I notice in the re-construction of Victoria Street is the very reason the work had to be done in the first place. Yes, the surface of the road was getting full of pot-holes. But it was more the stuff deep below the roadway that needed a complete overhaul.

You see, Victoria Street runs along the bottom of a ravine. And the road is located in town; therefore this street is connected to all the municipal services, including water and sewer. After torrential downpours anyone living along that street would get sewer back-up and flooding in their basements. Why? Because the culverts and buried pipes constructed half a century ago are not adequate enough to deal with any overflows and demands of the present day.

Huge concrete casings, like giant cement vaults, need to be buried underneath that particular roadway to connect and drain sewer and storm runoff — to solve the problem.

No good talking about the piping and drains under streets up on top of the ravine. No use blaming the rain fall! The problems are on Victoria Street! It’s about the infrastructure underneath Victoria that is the source of the problem, and what needs to be exposed to the hard work. No where else.

In life, reconstruction is about YOUR stuff! No one else’s! In the famous Psalm of Confession (51) where David prays fervently to God for forgiveness and healing, he also confesses something I think we sometimes forget in all our confessing: David acknowledges the “truth deep within me” (v.6), a truth that reveals good things too: wisdom, for one. Confession is not just about opening up to the bad within, but acknowledging the good that is there too.

And we can experience the good when we take ownership of our own stuff. Positive change doesn’t happen until you accept the truth about yourself. As soon as you catch yourself blaming someone or something else for your problems, you are likely missing the opportunity for growth, renewal and transformation in your life.

And that is why it is so important to undertake the journey of reconstruction with others. Reconstruction involves a community. Paul follows his exhortation to “grow up” by offering that famous image of the body of Christ. Growing involves the whole body, “joined and knit together by every ligament with which it is equipped …” (verse 16).

I believe what motivates the workers on Victoria Street over the long haul is that they can envision what it’s all going to look like one day. They can see in their minds eye the final result of all their labour. Therefore, hundreds of people are working on Victoria Street — traffic guides, contractors, town officials, engineers, workers — like busy bees all working together, interdependently.

Whether you see it or not, others can see in you a vision of the new thing God is doing in your life.

Life under reconstruction is not a solitary enterprise, even though our instinct may draw us to seclusion and isolation when bad things happen. Privacy and confidentiality are important to respect; nevertheless beware if these modern ideas provide instead an excuse to hide from others under the pretense of invulnerability. Be open and honest, like David was to Nathan for knowing his darkest secrets. Try trusting others. Find a confidant. Open yourself up to God.

God’s grace persists and perseveres. It may take a long time. Digging deep may even hurt. But the grace and the faithfulness of a loving God mediated through co-travelers will, in the end, bring us to that place of wholeness and healing.

It is also in the poetry of the Old Testament where we read over and over words that communicate what stands out in David’s life: God’s anger lasts but a moment; God’s steadfast love endures forever. The same is true for us.

Thanks be to God!

Amen.

Leadership stress; my problem, or yours?

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It didn’t dawn on me how serious and pervasive the problem was until I had car trouble.

Or so I thought.

Stuck in a big city rush hour jam, windows open, engines revving all around me, I first heard it: A loud, clanging sound emanating from somewhere beneath me. The sound followed me, inching along, pretty much down the entire block to the corner.

Even when I made the crawling turn at the intersection, it sounded like I was dragging and scraping my entire exhaust system on the tarmac below.

My hands gripped the steering wheel; was I suddenly going to lose a tire?Which appointments would I have to postpone or cancel for the potentially day-changing delay?

As the good grace of God would have it (and I didn’t even pray for it!) the dealership was right there. I immediately veered my ailing automobile into the garage half expecting my car immanently and literally to fall apart.

The technicians had my car on the hoist in minutes. After a quick check, they approached me slowly, their eyes searching me carefully. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your car, sir,” they reported.

If it wasn’t me then whose noise was it that followed me down the road? I so easily positioned myself to assume someone else’s problem was mine. Understandable, you might say, since they were so close to me their noise sounded like mine.

But that’s just the point. It is precisely those close to us — our family, spouse, close friends, those we lead and care about — where the temptation to be triangulated with someone else’s problem is most seductive.

Edwin Friedman in his book, “A Failure of Nerve; Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix”, suggests that this natural tendency to take on the emotional problems of others inhibits, even undermines, effective leadership –whether in families, marriages, or nation states.

It is not hard work — or even over-work — that causes stress. Stress in leaders is primarily caused by becoming responsible for something that rightly belongs in the purview of others.

Consider these brief citations from Friedman’s book:

“The stress on leaders … primarily has to do with the extent to which the leader has been caught in a responsible position for the relationship of two others” (220)

“Stress and burnout are … due primarily to getting caught in a responsible position for others and their problems” (202)

“Stress is due to becoming responsible for the relationships of others” (194)

Leaders will be wise to remain connected and engaged within the natural relationships of home, family and work. However, the effective leader will be able to self-regulate her/himself so as not to become enmeshed in the emotional reactivity of those relationships.

This may be particularly difficult for personalities who tend to over-function anyway, and compulsively step over the boundaries of others. They often do so on the pretense of care and love.

Especially in caregiving professions where this practice may even be expected and encouraged, the healthy leader will nevertheless take a stand and not lose nerve when asserting one’s stance and self-differentiating, despite the criticisms coming her or his way of being crass, uncaring and cold.

By the way, they did find something wrong with my car. But it had nothing to do with what I thought was my problem.

The only thing a leader can do is focus on his or her own self — to understand one’s position and function within marriage, family, and community.

And give thanks for the sometimes unexpected opportunities that arise to examine one’s self in context.

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Easter 2B – Peter the Rock & Thomas the Questioner

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… when youth are affirming their faith ….

The Holy Gospel according to John, the 20th chapter.

C: Glory to you, O Lord.

19 When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’20After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.21Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.’22When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.23If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.’

24 But Thomas (who was called the Twin*), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came.25So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord.’ But he said to them, ‘Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.’

26 A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’27Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.’

……

 THOMAS: Whoa! Where am I?

PETER: You’re safe, Thomas. You’re just in a different time and place.

THOMAS: What??!!! Last thing I remember is standing before Jesus.

PETER: Yes, and you were doubting.

THOMAS: Yeah, but he can’t be alive. How is that even possible? We saw him die on the cross; we saw him buried in the tomb!

PETER: Our Lord had just asked you to do something ….

THOMAS: (looking at his palms and stomach) … touch the nail scars on his hands and see the wound in his side. Yeah, I remember. (looking around) But, where is he? What IS this place?

PETER: Can you believe the power of our God? He has sent us thousands of years into the future to this place called (looking down on the divine handbook): “Zi-on Lu-ther-an Church” in a city called “Pe-mbroke”.

THOMAS: Oooohhh-kay. (looking at the confirmands). The only normally-dressed people are these youngsters. I like your gowns; oh, sorry, aren’t they supposed to be called something else? So, they are being baptized! Where’s the river?

PETER: The river …. (looking at the handbook) is called the “O-tta-wa”. But I’m told these followers of Christ baptize at this thing called a “font”.

THOMAS: How can anyone get in that? Oh, I forgot … is that a magic trick, too? They get real’ tiny …. (snickers)

PETER: It’s not magic, Thomas. Like the resurrection of Jesus. God’s power to do all things is real. It’s not an illusion. It’s not pretend. I suppose we can’t ever really understand it because we’re not God.

THOMAS: Hold on a sec. Did you say these people here are followers of Christ?????!!!!!

PETER: Yes.

THOMAS: So, where IS Jesus, if he’s alive?

PETER: He’s here alright.

THOMAS: You mean we are thousands of years into the future, and these people have never actually SEEN Jesus with their own eyes …

PETER: … and yet they believe. Yes, Thomas.

THOMAS: What do you mean: “He’s here alright”?

PETER: When you saw Jesus standing before you, he was already partly in heaven. After he left us, he promised the Holy Spirit.

THOMAS: The “Holy Spirit”?

PETER: The Holy Spirit is God, too. Just like God the Son, and God the Father.

THOMAS: So, the reason these folks believe in God is because the Holy Spirit is here.

PETER: Basically.

THOMAS: But, then, where is the Holy Spirit? Same problem: if I can’t see with my own eyes and touch with my own hands, it’s not true.

PETER: Yes, yes. I’ve heard that from you before. Tell me, Thomas: do you have a brain?

THOMAS: uh … yeah!

PETER: I know you have a brain. You know you have a brain. But can you see it? Can you touch it?

THOMAS: No. Wouldn’t want to do that.

PETER: So, you won’t touch it or look at it with your own eyes?

THOMAS: No way!

PETER: Therefore, you don’t have a brain!

THOMAS: Okay. Okay. I get the point. Hmmmm. (scratches his chin, folds his arms across his chest, thinking) These people have never physically seen Jesus. Thousands of years …. Still believe? How is this possible?

PETER: Someone coming after us – Saul is his name, then later Paul – will write: “All things are possible with God”

THOMAS: Wow! I can’t believe this! (to the confirmands) Do you believe EVERYTHING about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit? … Do you ever DOUBT the existence of God? If so, why are you even here??!!!

PETER: Now, now, Thomas. Let’s not discourage them! This Paul also wrote that true faith is in things NOT seen, in what is HOPED for.

THOMAS: But how can anyone’s faith be so perfect?

PETER: That’s not why these young people are here today, saying “yes” to God and to their baptism in Jesus. They’re not here because they understand everything about God PERFECTLY.

THOMAS: You mean it’s okay to doubt God sometimes?

PETER: Let’s put it this way, Thomas: if you never knew fear, if you were never afraid, how could you know courage and joy? If you never lost anything or anyone precious to you, if you never knew how it felt to be lonely and sad, how could you know what it means to love? If you never doubted, never knew what it felt like to doubt and question, how could you know faith and hope?

THOMAS: Okay, again – I get the point. What you’re saying is that to be faithful and true to Jesus, doubting and questioning is an important part of following Jesus.

PETER: If you never doubted the resurrection of Jesus, we wouldn’t be here today experiencing yet another miracle of God!

THOMAS: (sigh)

PETER: God the Father gave me an important job after Jesus left us to go to heaven. He called me the “rock”. And the church would be built on what I could do to bring people together in faith for future generations.

THOMAS: Whoa! That’s a lot of pressure. (somewhat sarcastically) I stand in the presence of greatness! (bowing)

PETER: Not so quickly! I don’t know if you heard of this, but before Jesus went before the high priests the night he was arrested, I followed him to the compound where the soldiers kept him.

THOMAS: I’ve heard rumors …. What happened?

PETER: As I was warming myself by the fire, a couple of people asked me if I knew Jesus.

THOMAS: And?

PETER: I denied him. I told them all I had no idea whom they were talking about.

THOMAS: Oh.

PETER: Not once. But three times.

THOMAS: You were trying to protect yourself. You were being smart.

PETER: Maybe. But then the rooster crowed. And Jesus could see me from the courtyard. Our eyes met. And at that moment, I realized how weak my faith actually was.

THOMAS: What did you do?

PETER: I felt so badly. I couldn’t face him. I ran home and cried all night. I really doubted myself after that. I questioned not only my faith in Jesus, but myself.

THOMAS: Hey, you’re really no different from me ….

PETER: … And everyone here in this room today!

THOMAS: I guess if your faith isn’t perfect, whose can be!?

PETER: That’s not the point, though, Thomas. I think the fact that Jesus asked me to be the head of the church shows that God doesn’t call perfect people. Rather, God equips and calls people who recognize their own weaknesses, doubts and imperfections and who are willing to confess and be honest about that. And still turn to Jesus.

THOMAS: Hmmm. Maybe Jesus has plans for me, too, then, eh? I wonder what he’d want me to do? …..

PETER: Did you just say, “eh”?

THOMAS: Why?

PETER: Apparently, according to this divine handbook, that’s what they say a lot here in this country called “Ca-na-da”. (looks over the top of his glasses at Thomas inquisitively) Are you sure you haven’t spent some time here before?

THOMAS: (smiles) Let’s just say the Lord and I have already been on a journey together.

PETER: That’s good. Let’s hope and pray these young people will also continue on that journey with the Lord after today. What about you, Thomas? What will you do when we go back to the upper room to meet Jesus?

THOMAS: Well, I’ll be honest. I WILL put my hands in his wounds. But I think I already know Jesus is alive and will always be with me, even if I don’t ever see him with my own eyes ever again after that.

PETER: Let’s go. Goodbye everyone! Live the faith!

….

28Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’29Jesus said to him, ‘Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.’

30 Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book.31But these are written so that you may come to believe* that Jesus is the Messiah,* the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

The Gospel of our Lord.

C: Praise to you, O Christ.

Proper 28 Season after Pentecost – Remember who you are

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Matthew 25:14-30

I remember reading this story as a youth feeling for the first time that I was in big trouble. In trouble, for the life of faith I was embarking on. In trouble, because it wasn’t going to be easy; being a Christian wasn’t just going to be “nice”. With fear and trepidation I came to realize that a life of faith was going to challenge me to the core of my personality and my basic human instint.

You see, until Jesus explained to his disciples, basically, which of the servants did well and which didn’t, I was — and on some level still am – completely sympathetic with the third servant who hid his talent and didn’t do anything with it. And, impressed by those who took a risk with the gift they were given. From that time on, I realized that a life of faith would often go against my way of thinking often prone to suspicion, self-preservation and basic conservatism.

The easy way would be to do nothing. Doing nothing would cut down on vulnerability and exposure to an unknown climate for investment in a scary world. The easy way would be to do nothing.

Because the easy way is based on fear. The servant who acted out of fear even admits it: “I was afraid,” he says, trying to justifiy his inaction. Yet, does his position not describe a valid approach to living in a scary world: hunker down, conserve what you already have (don’t lose it!), play it safe, a best offence is the best defence …? I think we know those arguments all too well, arguments which are all based on a fundamental fear of our failure, demise and death.

On Remembrance Day the community gathered to remember the fallen in war. Death can put perspective on any life: the life of our nation, our church, our community, our very own lives.

Fast forward our lives to our deathbeds. From the perspective of our end time, how would we look upon the way we lived? Were our lives in the church, in our families, in our work — lives based on fear?

Or were they characterized by boldness, by commitments made against all odds, against the prevailing notions of “common sense”, by commitments and actions made in faith and trust in the God of our lives, a God who calls us to ventures unkown? Those are the values, by the way, we admire and remember in our soldiers, aren’t they? The history of the battle at Vimy Ridge tells that story the best.

I like the humour in the story of Jesus stringing a high wire over Niagara Falls. He was going to ride his bicycle across it. Jesus asked his disciples, “Do you believe I can ride across and back?”

“Oh yes,” they replied, “you can do it.” So, Jesus rode over and back. When he got back, the jubilant disciples reaffirmed their confidence. They were now absolutely positive and told Jesus so. He had proven it.

So, Jesus asked them again, “Do you think I can do it again?” This time they were even more confident and they assured him it was, in theological language, a piece of cake.

“Okay,” Jesus said, pointing to the handlebars, “Get on.”

The feeling we get when we imagine getting on those handlebars relates directly to faith. We’re very happy to see Jesus do it. And he did already, in a manner of speaking. But that’s not faith. Faith is trusting that Jesus will carry you over while you sit on the handlebars. Jesus isn’t asking you to do it alone; just that you trust that he will carry you over and through the fearful situations of our lives. (This wonderful story is found in Clarence Thomson’s ‘Parables and the Enneagram’, p.98)

How can we live faithfully so that fear does not hold us in its grip?

In preparation for flying out to Saskatoon last summer for the church convention, I read some articles on how to conquer a fear of flying. Among many tips to do so, this one stood out for me. The advice given by Katharine Watts was: “Develop a clear motivation for overcoming that fear.”

I think this would apply to any fear we might have: To assert the reason WHY you are doing something fearful. In the example of flying, Watts writes, “In order to conquer fears, there needs to be a good incentive … Develop a very specific reason why overcoming your fear of flying is important. Just wanting to travel is a little bit vague. Instead, say ‘every winter I need to go down south’ or ‘I want to adopt a child in China.'” When the good motivation is strong in your mind and in your heart, it’ll be harder to let fear get in the way. But if the reasoning is weak, or vague, or unclear — fear can take over.

In other words, “Remember why we’re doing it in the first place!” Put in front of us the main thing of what it is we’re all about. I think this applies directly to being and doing church.

Remembrance Day is about remembering the bigger picture. Remembering the sacrifice our soldiers made to win us freedom in our public lives — the freedom to vote, for example, which is a civic duty and privilege bought by their blood. Remembering the big picture; the WHY.

When I was young, leaving the house for school my mother reminded me: Remember your bus number, remember your telephone number, remember your address, remember your name, your teacher’s name, your parents’ names. In other words, remember the facts.

While remembering facts is important in their own right, Remembrance Day is not just about remembering history from the point of view of “information” about the past. In truth, we live in a day and age that can be described as “information overload”. Our brains are simply not wired to be able to take in all the information and facts that come flying at us at high speed. At a click of a button we can find out anything we want to on any subject matter you can imagine.

By the time I was in my early twenties, my mother had changed her message about “remembering” — no longer remember the facts, so much. Rather, Martin, remember who you are.

The remembering, the knowing, is so much more than information, facts, particularities in history and doctrinal statements of belief, etc. — as interesting and as important as this information is. The knowing and remembering must go deeper. Remember who you are, why we are, whose we are. I think this is the kind of remembering our society and especially the church needs to engage in more these days.

Remember who we are and whose we are. Remember who we are as the people of God, sitting in those pews. All Saints Sunday last week cued us to a truth in answer to who we are and whose we are: We are beloved creations of God, created to be loved and to love and serve others with the gifts we have and out of that generous love of God. We are already blessed before we do anything!

I wonder if that fearful servant had remembered not all the possible places he could hide his penny, not his position in the ranks of servants and how he could exploit it to his advantage, not his bank account number.

Rather, I wonder if he but remembered who his boss was, the kind of person he was, and got it right (his logic is faulty!); if he remembered to whom he belonged in the first place. If he had remembered that his boss was not the kind of guy who would punish him for taking a risk with his talent, if he had remembered the reason why — and explored more those bigger questions — I wonder whether he would have been so fearful.

I wish there was someone in that story who could have coached him and reminded him of this before he buried his talent out of fear.

If the passage we read today says anything about our God, is that God is generous to those who step it up and step it out.

And though our memories may sometimes be faulty, though we may struggle to remember who and whose we are, we can be certain that God will remember us and never forget us. He holds us in the palm of his hand. We have nothing to lose for trying, for taking a risk, for stepping outside our comfort zone, for putting fear in its proper place; not denying our fear, but subjecting it to a greater truth: the love and generosity of God that will never, never waver, no matter what.

Let us be confident then that when we do anything for the sake of God’s glory, God’s mission, God’s good purposes, then that gift will not be wasted; it will increase! And each of us has been given a gift. Why not use it?

To God alone be glory and honour forever and ever. Amen.

Love Makes Work Easy

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“When anything is done from realized love, it is easy.” So claims Clarence Thomson in his book ‘Parables and the Enneagram’ (p.61).
These are words worth pondering, especially for leaders who struggle with the demands, burdens and daily vicissitudes of their work. He goes on to share his experience of watching a group of boys play ball – lest “love” seem too sublime an answer to the challenge of a leader’s work: “What they [the boys] want most is to exert themselves because they love the game. A musician will play, not work, a difficult piece of music. Anything done out of love, regardless of effort, becomes easy. Without love, all is work.” With love, work – whatever that work is – becomes a joyful and easy expression of your self. Love negates the false dichotomy between effort and ease.

Parable of a Good Leader

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What makes a good leader?

Listen:

“Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a king in Ireland. Ireland had lots of small kingdoms in those days, and this king’s kingdom was one among many. Both king and kingdom were quite ordinary and nobody paid much attention to either of them.

“But one day, the king received a huge beautiful diamond from a relative who had died. It was the largest diamond anyone had ever seen. It dazzled everyone. The other kings began to pay attention to him for if he had a dimaond like this he must be special. The people, too, came from far and wide to see the diamond. The king had it on constant display in a glass box so that all who wished could come to see and admire it. Of course, armed guards kept a constant vigil. Both king and kingdom prospered, and the king attributed all his good fortune to the diamond.

“One day a nervous guard asked to see him. The guard was visibly shaken. He told the king terrible news: the diamond had developed a flaw! A crack right down the middle! The king was horrified and ran to the glass box to see for himself. It was true. The diamond was now flawed terribly.

“He called all the jewelers in the land to ask their advice. They gave him only bad news. The flaw was so deep, they said, that if they were to try to sand it down, they would grind it to practically nothing, and if they tried to split it into two still substantial stones, it easily might shatter into a million fragments.

“As the king was pondering these terrible options, an old jeweler who had arrived late came to him and said, ‘If you will give me a week with that stone, I think I can fix it.’ The king didn’t believe him at first because the other jewelers were so sure it couldn’t be fixed, but the old man was insistent. Finally the king relented, but said he couldn’t let the diamond out of his castle. The old man said that would be all right: He could work there and the guards could stand outside the room where he was working.

“The king, having no better solution, agreed to let the old man work. For a week he and the guards hovered about, hearing scratching and gentle pounding and grinding. They wondered what he was doing and what would happen if the old man were tricking them.

“Finally, the week was up and the old man came out of the room. King and guards rushed in to see the old man’s work, and the king burst into tears of joy. It was better! The old man had carved a perfect rose on the top of the diamond, and the crack that ran down inside now was the stem of the rose.”

Every leader has a special gift visible for all to see and even admire. Effective and genuine leadership, however, does not deny fault and flaw in self, pretending perfection and fueling delusions of righteousness. A good leader does not hide her weakness, which is the other side of the gift, but confesses it unabashadly.

A good leader grants permission to self and others for the work of transformation, turning the very weakness into its corresponding strength: fear to courage, pride to self-respect, perfectionism to patience, anger to generosity, etc.

Finally, a good leader is not embarrassed by the process of healing. By being openly vulnerable to another’s healing and help, the good leader allows something beautiful and unexpected to emerge out of the flaw. A rose grows with the thorn.

The story of the king’s diamond comes from Clarence Thomson, in his book “Parables and the Enneagram” p.1-2 Metamorphous Press, Portland OR, 1996

Leadership in the Ice Age – Bring the Warmth of Compassion

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“Ice Age 3 – Dawn of the Dinosaur”

Okay, you can tell I have kids.

And I can’t get away from making the connections between these children-friendly flicks and the meaning of leadership, pesonality differences, relationships, and life.

Indulge me. The group of ice-age animals are on another adventure. And this time, the clumsy, accident-prone clown in the group – Sid – brings three baby dinosaurs to their valley home. I replay over and over again the scene in this movie entitled, “That’s One Angry Fossil”, where the mommy T-rex snifs out her lost hatchlings and brings fear and terror to the perceived safety of Sid’s family of friends.

When the angry T-rex enters the valley on the hunt one of Sid’s friends, Manny the Mammoth, advises everyone to remain absolutely still. For perhaps the visually impaired giant will mistaken the terrified gaggle of creatures for trees, rocks, snow drifts and bushes, and move on, leaving them alone.

After a few seconds of strenuous, forced silence and stillness, however, all hell breaks loose. While Manny holds his ground and remains still, an ostrich sticks her head in the snow and a four-legged fur ball runs across the screen screaming “Aaaahhhh!” Mayhem ensues, and the chase is now on. No more pretending. No more hiding. All is now in the open.

Socrates’ guiding rule was “Know Thyself”. Never better advice than when confronted with our greatest fears and challenges. To be one’s true self in leadership, life, relationship – is to demonstrate a degree of self-awareness and self-knowledge. And, I would add, especially in adversity, self-compassion.

If the T-rex may symbolize all that scares us in life, all that stands in opposition to us, all that represents adversity and challenge – how do you normally respond? When leaders are honest about themselves and are openly on a journey of transformation and healing, they give permission to the people they lead to do the same.

Where would you locate yourself amid the various responses of the Ice Age animals:

1. Are you like Manny the Mammoth who holds his ground, immovable, unyielding, offering power-against-power?

2. Are you like the ostrich, who sticks her head in the ground trying to hide from and pretend the problem will go away if you avoid it or deny it?

3. Are you like the fur-ball creature who copes with stress by “screaming”, acting out, and incessantly moving, running and drawing an overwhelming burden of attention upon yourself?

Likely we demonstrate all of the above to varying degrees depending on the circumstance. Likely, as well, you tend towards one of the three most of the time. Which one?

The solution is not found in following one of the above-described compulsions. Pursuing each of the three to their logical ends does no-one any good:

1. Remaining immovable and unyielding through it all will undermine any mutuality, team-work and compromise – values integral to effective leadership.

2. Hiding from the problem, pretending it doesn’t exisit, faking a positive impression leads to a breakdown of honesty, embrace of reality and building genuine relationship – values integral to effective leadership.

3. Acting out, immersing yourself in hyper-activity and over-stepping boundaries on the pretext of caring leads to the demise of mutual respect – also valuable in effective leadership.

The solution is also not in repressing these natural qualities that make up our ego-identity. The development of our ego is important in self-differentiation and adding spice to life with others. Each of us brings untold gifts, abilities and flavour to whatever organization and community to which we belong. So, while our egos often get us into trouble, we also need to appreciate them and love the good they bring. We love Sid for his humour, Diego for his prowess, Manny for his wise presence. Trying to be other than who we are at the start, or engaging in hateful self-talk about our compulsive tendencies, serve only to hinder our growth and maturity.

Compassion with self, on the other hand, offers a way through.

In the climax of the movie, mommy T-rex saves Sid from certain death. By the end of the movie, we see how the mother T-rex, Sid, and the three baby dinosaurs become friends. I don’t want to give too much away – watch the movie even if you don’t have kids! – to find out how.

Let me say at very least the solution was found not by avoiding the problem or giving up, but by following a natural curiosity and love for each other despite the challenges they faced.

In leadership, our compulsions may initially drive our responses to adversity and fear. Such responses may result in successes from time to time. Ultimately, however, if we remain at this unaware level of consiousness we will become disappointed and frustrated more often than not.

More importantly, whether or not we can integrate our lives with compassion both for our compulsive natures and whatever ignites our compulsions – this will determine our longevity and resiliency in leadership, and in relationship with others.

Why We Need Not Be Afraid – Part Four /Pentecost 11A – The Cross

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Matthew 16:21-28

The late Canadian federal politician, Jack Layton, in his final words written in a letter to all Canadians, wrote: “Hope is better than fear.” He wrote those words less than 48 hours before he would succumb to the cancer that was killing him. One thing about Jack Layton, you couldn’t fault the man for being genuine, passionate and from-the-heart in his communication. In other words, he wasn’t just saying, “hope is better than fear” just because it was a good thing to say; He really meant it.

How could he rise above his fear enough so to make that statement, genuinely? Hope is better than fear. How could he maintain optimism amidst his suffering and even in the face of impending death?

I must confess my reaction would echo Peter’s: It is not right for our leader to suffer and die! For that matter, let’s not talk about suffering and dying at all. Conversations like this have no place in the corridors of power, amidst the expectations of greatness and glory! Yeah, Peter’s reaction makes more sense than Jesus’ morbid talk!

I am not someone who has suffered greatly – especially as I consider some of the stories of you sitting in this room today. I suspect, nevertheless, that suffering comes to us all at some point in life, even when we don’t seek it. It is a natural part of life. So, I wonder, how can I prepare myself for the inevitable?

“How can there be a God,” sceptics ask, “when there is so much suffering in the world today?” I suspect the answer is, because people of faith discover hope and wholeness not be denying their broken places in life, but by embracing this reality, in love.

Perhaps another quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson can help set the context for our discussion this morning: “The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but deliverance from fear.”

Perhaps it’s not the circumstance itself that is the issue, but our response to it. Because I believe we’ve heard of many people who have faced incredibly desperate cirmcumstances in their lives, and yet were able to maintain and hold a high level of hope despite their circumstance. How do they do it?

Why we need not be afraid? Today’s reflection zeroes in on the Cross. Not the crucifix — we’ll save that image for Holy Week and Good Friday. No, let’s start with a plain, empty Cross not denying the suffering it has caused as a 2nd century instrument of torture and capital punishment but suggesting there is something hopeful beyond the suffering.

How can we learn to live in hope, not fear? Here are a couple of biblical insights that emerge from the assigned texts for this day:

1. Jeremiah 15:15-21 “Why is my pain unceasing, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?” (v.18)

Jeremiah complains bitterly to God, in the first half of this text. He even has the gall to describe God as a “deceitful brook” and “waters that fail” (v.18)

But God is not offended by Jeremiah’s accusations. That’s because Jeremiah’s protest, uttered amid his suffering, falls safely within the biblical tradition of “lament”. You can find other laments in the Psalms, for example, such as Psalms 22, 42, 44 & 89. Challenging God’s apparent unreliability in this manner is “fully spiritual” (David Bartlett & Barbara Brown Taylor, eds., Feasting on the Word Year A Vol 4, p.5). Why?

This language and style of communication presumes a relationship of faithfulness. The Lament is language of fidelity. It assumes that God values relationship and is open to being affected personally by a believer’s suffering. It is reminicent of the way Job challenged God. Anger expressed towards God is a more faithful act than complacency and a fateful, passive resignation fueled by self-rejection.

The first strategy for finding a way beyond the fear is grounding ourselves in a real, relationship with a God who is willing to be affected by our very own suffering, who is willing to hear our pain, who is willing to walk with us in the woundedness of our life.

The Cross symbolizes Jesus’ sympathy with human suffering. Because Jesus suffered and died on the Cross, God is no stranger to the depth and breadth of human suffering, including our own. He knows it. He can take it. Let him have it. And God will respond. How? God’s response to Jeremiah’s vitriol is a loving promise for redemption.

The Cross stands at the intersection of divine interest and intervention, and our own personal and corporate suffering. At the very least, we are not disconnected from God in our suffering. Therefore, we need not be afraid.

2. Which brings us to the second biblical insight for approaching our own suffering not with fear, but hope and love: The dialogue between Jesus, Peter and the disciples in our Gospel text takes place in the north country, Caesarea Philippi. Remember, the disciples are fishers. They are lake people, accumstomed to life on and around Lake Galilee. Places like Capernaum and Tiberias are their familiar stomping grounds. So, why did Jesus drag his disciples far north into unfamiliar territory in order to tell them that he must go to Jerusalem to suffer and die?

In fact, the text reveals that he did not “explain” or “tell” them about suffering, but that he “showed” them. So there must be something he did with them to teach them about suffering. Is it the very action of removing them from the familiar, from the routine, from the perceived safety and security of their “comfort zones” of home and hearth to teach them about the meaning of suffering?

I wonder if their physical displacement represented gaining some distance and perspective on the subject matter. Being far away from home symbolized the inner need for distance and detachment from all that seems to be important and with which they identified their lives.

Which sets the ground for the famous yet difficult teaching of Jesus in this text: “If anyone want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.”

Jesus wants to give his disciples a vision of his mission and kingdom in which we are given hope through our suffering and death. But the path is a way of embracing our losses. The message of Jesus’ stories (called “parables”) is that in losing we will find.

In Luke 15 is a summary of the Gospel — often referred to as the “golden” chapter of the bible. In it we read the stories of the lost coin, the lost sheep, and the Prodigal Son (i.e. the lost son). Sometimes I feel the Christians, based on their behaviour, would rather have it the other way around: Would we rather have Jesus tell stories about never having been lost? Why not parables about staying found, with instructions on how not to get lost?

The hope comes when we “let go.” Earlier in Matthew’s Gospel we find a version of the famous Beatitudes -teachings of Jesus – containing a list of “Blessed are those who …” The first one is, “Blessed are the poor in spirit.”

The importance of letting go of, releasing and forgiving are vital qualities in the process of healing. Letting go, first by being honest and angry with God; that is, getting it out. But, letting go of all our pretensions, perceived perfection and glory-fixations so that we discover who we truly are. In the poverty of our being, when we let go, we discover our true selves, not by identifying ourselves with our suffering but merely by relating to it.

And who we essentially are is nothing more, and nothing less, than be-loved, lovable and loving. Love is at the heart of faith. It’s not suffering for suffering’s sake. It’s not suffering for evil purposes. Jesus went to the Cross because he wants to love you and be with you and show you that hope is better than fear.

It’s suffering in full awareness of God’s love, compassion and promise in and through our suffering. And I think the way to that realization is in the art of “losing”: that in losing we will find.

If God is willing to love us in our suffering, perhaps we too can embrace the part of our lives in pain. Perhaps we can love the parts of our lives — mind, body, and spirit — that are hurting.

This week I heard the moving story of an elderly person who at a young age had to give up a baby daughter for adoption. Given the circumstances of her life at the time, and holding a faithful conviction that her daughter was meant to be loved and raised in another person’s household, she gave up something/someone near and dear to her.

She had to accept her loss. And she came to terms with the very real possibility that she might never again meet her daughter. Yet, she moved on in her life to experience many other blessings.

Then in the mid-1980s the Ontario Government passed legislation allowing for adopted children to seek out their birth mothers, if they so desired. Upon hearing of this news, this person called the government office and released her contact information, allowing for the possibility that her daughter, wherever she was, might wish to contact her.

Within two weeks, she received a phone call from her daughter. They planned for a reunion in a neutral city. And what a reunion it was! Even though their lives had gone in different directions and continued so after their meeting, they have been able to enjoy each other’s company and friendship to this day. They meet once in a while and are mutually blessed by their relationship.

In losing we will find. Not a reckless, indiscriminate, unthoughtful, impulsive letting go. But a letting go that is held in faithful, trusting and committed manner. We too can experience new life, healing, resurrection. It is not easy to take this first step. It requires some risk-taking. Yet, the cliche is true and analogous: Better to have love and lost, then never to have loved at all.

When we are honest, real and true — expressing our deepest feelings to God in relationship that will endure all; and, when we practice the art of letting go in so many areas of our lives holding the Cross as a symbol of the hope we have in Christ Jesus, we can be liberated from our fear.

Thanks be to God. Amen.

Decisions, Decisions

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Leadership is about helping others make decisions. How effective your leadership proves to be depends in large part how you lead others to make a decision. The decision is not necessarily one you favour, although the ability to persuade through compelling argument has traditionally characterized the successful leader in our western, americanized culture. No, the ability I mean reflects a servant quality of grappling with others’ perspectives and working towards a consensus that moves beyond the personal opinion of any one individual — leader or otherwise.

For this to work, the effective leader must demonstrate some self-awareness. Folly to that leader whose self-awareness does not exceed occasionally looking in the mirror!

So, how do you lead?

1. Is your natural strength of an analytical, thinking quality? Do you help others think about issues in order to seek clarity of thought and provide a clear direction consistent with stated purposes, meaning and mission?

2. Is your natural strength of a feeling, passionate quality? Do you help others get in touch with how they feel towards a subject matter, unlocking in them excitement and energy for a worthwhile cause?

3. Is your natural strength grounded in conviction and presence of being? Do you help others embrace the truth about themselves, and take action that is authentic, genuine and unflappable because it is sourced from deep within oneself?

What is your leadership style? Likely, you orient yourself most often around one of the three above-stated descriptions. Being aware of how best you function can lead you to help others discover how best they operate — and together you will make the best decisions possible.