Let’s start the sermon today with a little quiz to test your knowledge of the Ottawa region. The photo below, I took in December of 2020. Where is this? Your clue: It is Sunday morning driving distance to the church, at 43 Meadowlands Dr West in Nepean (west-end Ottawa). At the end of the sermon, you will find the answer.

The Christian calendar makes times for Advent. Advent is an important season before Christmas starts. It’s important because in the wisdom of early Christians, people of faith have acknowledged that our deepest longings must have time and space for expression, without rushing headlong into celebration.

That’s why, here in the sanctuary at the church even though the Christmas Tree was put up a couple of days ago and decorated yesterday—we will refrain from turning on the lights until Christmas Eve.

This time is important to name our longing for connection, relationship. That is why we reflect in this sermon series on friendship from faith’s perspective. We have already identified aspects of true friendship—first, that friendship is for life; and second, that enduring friendship can stand the tests of disagreement and difference.

Today, we ask: Where do we find our friends? Where?

²⁸This took place in Bethany across the Jordan where John was baptizing—the concluding verse from the Gospel text for this Third Sunday of Advent.[1]

I wouldn’t say the interactions recorded in the scripture today scream “friendship”, let alone true friends. In fact, the dialogue carries undertones and overtones of scrutiny, confrontation and cross-examinations. The priests and Levites are sent by the Pharisees to question John the Baptist, just like they would later try to dismantle Jesus with their combative language.

The Pharisees don’t know who John the Baptist is. Is he Elijah? Is he the promised Messiah? Is he some other prophet? Who is he? They send their minions into the desert. But they are not really ‘there’; they are not present to the moment and the situation. They come with an agenda, a strategy.

In short, the Pharisees are lost in their heads, in the realm of abstraction and ideas, trying to pin John the Baptist down, pigeon-hole him into some preconceived construct, trying to defend what is ‘right’ in their minds.

And that’s why they don’t understand. If they would only open their proverbial eyes and actually go and see who is standing before them, listen to him. It can be none other than John the Baptist, preparing the way of the Lord by the river Jordan, crying out in the wilderness. Literally.

We would not normally go into the wilderness to find our friends for life. And yet in all the scriptures we are reading this Advent about John the Baptist, we know that “people from the whole Judean countryside and all of the people of Jerusalem”[2]—very large crowds at least—travelled into the desert to be baptized by John.

They were drawn by this charismatic figure, to what he was doing and saying. And it’s a reasonable assumption to suggest there were friends among the crowds.

Where do you go, and where did you find your friends?

In this third sermon on the theme of friendship from faith’s perspective, we are drawn to the place where relationships happen. And the Gospel stories leading up to and including the birth of Jesus draw our attention on the specific place where all the holy happened—beginning in the wilderness and then in Bethlehem and the surrounding countryside.

In this sermon series I’ve also related the theme of friendship to my experience on a prayer retreat I attended last summer at the Bonnevaux Centre for Peace located in a sprawling valley near Marçay, France. At the centre of the valley lies a cluster of renovated buildings including the original abbey.

In the months leading up to the trip, I wondered, “What is Bonnevaux like?” I had a vision of some ideal, monastic setting, a pastoral vision of rolling fields, stained glass, cathedral ceilings and peaceful waters.

When I saw pictures online of the main building—called ‘the barn’— where our Canadian group would gather for the talks, for meditation and prayer, I formed a mental image and feeling of what it might be like to be in that space with others. Expansive. Ethereal. Set apart. In other words, ‘ideal’.

Well, this fantasy is only partly true. Because, in truth, it is a unique setting like no other. You can’t replicate it, in your mind nor on earth. Reality is not an abstraction. Experience is not a deduction. You have to start from the ground up. You have to place your body, physically, there.

When I first entered ‘the barn’ this summer, it was smaller than I had imagined. Moreover, I realized how close it was to the guest house, just across a cobbled-stoned path separating the two buildings. I was mindful and sometimes distracted by people coming and going through the barn’s massive and creaky doorways when meditating. It was still wonderful!

The Christian religion is rooted in the incarnation: “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.”[3] Christ is present in one, hidden moment and place in time. Incarnation is always specific and concrete, here and now.

Friendships are born in a place. It starts with where you are: Neighbours who happen to live on the same floor or street, colleagues working in the same office building, life-long buddies who meet at the curling rink, parents using the same childcare, members of the same church, students attending the same school.

We don’t start with a concept of friendship, or concepts of anything for that matter. We don’t need to go to convents, monasteries, churches or any other “holy” place to find the right friend for us. Like any practise of faith, friendship is not what you think. It’s what you experience, here and now.

We may be surprised where we meet our true friends. We start with what or who is with us now, in the flesh, before our own eyes. To find a friend is to discover the gift of one already in your midst, wherever you are. Reality like friendship is not ideal, nor perfect. We are called to engage not the ideal, but what is.

If you’re looking for a friend, and a true friend, maybe start with noticing and appreciating where you are right now. Look around you. Consider with whom you have regular interaction in the place you are, or where you are going to be.

And then, engage. Get to know them. Pray for them. God may be opening your eyes to the gift of a new friend.

[Ok, any thoughts on where the location is, of the photo above? Answer: Rosamond Street at Gillies Bridge over the Mississippi River in Carleton Place]

---

[1] John 1:6-8,19-28

[2] Mark 1:5

[3] John 1:14